Radio Chatter

I once saw a poster that said, "The Parrot is the only bird which both flies and talks; but does neither very well." This also applies to pilots. Some pilots seem to forget that an aircraft radio isn't like a telephone and everyone on that frequency hears what they say. Over the years there have been a lot of strange or funny moments on the radio but this has always been my favorite. It came from the Dallas Love Field Tower tapes.

Hello Love Field Tower, this is old Jake Carter from down at Killeen with the wife and two kids in the Tri Pacer. I wanna land at your airport.

Tri Pacer calling Love Field, say again.

Hello Love Field Tower, this is old Jake Carter from down at Killeen with the wife and two kids in the Tri Pacer. I wanna land at your airport.

Tri Pacer calling Love Field, please say your number.

There's four of us; me and my wife and two kids.

Tri Pacer calling Love Field, what is the number of your aircraft?

Oh, that number. It's N 5246 P.

Tri Pacer 46 Papa, Love Field. State your position.

I'm in the left seat and my wife in the the right one and the kids are in the back.

Tri Pacer 46 Papa, where are you at right now?

Oh, I'm right over the field. I can see you, can't you see me?

Tri Pacer 46 Papa, we have you visual. Fly a left traffic pattern and land on One Three Left.
       
Is that the long un or the short un?

One Three Left is the shorter runway to the east of the terminal.

Lemme land on the long un, I want to go to the Piper place over on the west side of the field.

Tri Pacer 46 Papa, land on One Three Left and taxi to the tower.


This came from the World Soaring Championship held in Marfa, Texas in 1970. The Japanese pilot provided a certain level of comic relief every day, ranging from landing in Mexico to landing on top of a small mesa where the glider had to be brought down in individual parts by a helicopter. On the last day we heard the call. "Juliet Alpha One Mile Out". It would be the only day that he finished a task and everyone was on their feet cheering as he flashed across the finish line and pulled up into a landing pattern. Then as he turned downwind, we heard over the contest site radio, "Juliet Alpha, your gear is up."

Then a few seconds later, "Juliet Alpha, lower your landing gear!"

As he turned final; frantically came over the radio, "Does anyone know how to say your gear is up in Japanese!!" Then he slid to a stop in front of the crowd on the belly.


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Copyright 2001 by Jim Foreman